Thursday, June 30, 2011

Buying Books for Children

Some of my fondest childhood memories aren't just book-related but bookstore-related. The children's section in my parent's favorite bookstore had this great train track you could play with and an awesome boat-shaped sitting area you could climb all over and shelves that come up only to my waist these days. Though sadly this particular bookstore no longer exists I never came out of it without a new book. Miss Rumphius was one of my favorites. So much so that though I have no idea what became of my original copy I bought another one when I was sixteen or seventeen. When I stopped being such a little kid I not only devoured a huge portion of my father's library but I didn't come out of the bookstore without several new books every time we went. Their only real rule was that we didn't buy hardcovers because they're quite expensive (my father still never buys hardovers). The other thing was that they weren't going to buy books I wasn't going to read (and why would I want them anyway?)

My parents are not rich people by any stretch of the imagination. My mother is a school teacher and my father is a commercial fisherman. I'm the youngest of four children. But my parents understood the value of reading and education. My mother read out loud to all of us until I was eight or nine which put my oldest brother at sixteen or seventeen. She only stopped then because my second-oldest brother and I kept stealing the book from her and reading ahead. They also bought books for all of us, not just me, so it wasn't uncommon for them to spend hundreds of dollars once every month or two at the bookstore. As a result I spent most of highschool reading my books instead of paying attention but still, somehow, managed to get good grades.

So maybe I was pampered as a child and I understand that some children's books can be expensive but aside from the bargain books we carry (which are, as far as I can tell, publisher overstocks that they sell off for the cost it would take to destroy them) I could pick out dozens, hundreds of books probably, for children in our store that would cost you half the amount for one romance novel or a quarter what you might pay for a girlie magazine. Not to mention the fact that young people and young adult books (which can run to several hundred pages) often cost much less than adult books of the same binding or even quality. So I'm not quite sure why it is that when parents come into the store with their children in tow so they, the adult, can pick up a copy of Twilight or grab some truck magazine or even porn (yes, people bring their children into the bookstore for seemingly the sole purpose of buying porn) and their child asks them for a book they don't buy one.

Maybe, maybe you think your kid should get books from the library (which are free after all), or maybe you think your kid does plenty of reading in school and doesn't need you to purchase books for them. But when asked to purchase a book for their child parent's don't say: "Not today sweetie, but tomorrow we can go to the library." They don't negotiate: "How about this book about a little princess just like my little princess instead of that book?" In order to convince them they want a less expensive one. I rarely hear one say: "Maybe next time." But I often hear parents say: "No, because when we go to you're just going to ask me for a toy there and get upset because I already bought you a book." ...You actually want to buy your child more noisy toys instead of a book which might encourage them to be quiet and probably more introspective which may lead them not to whine at all? No? How about a book that encourages your child not to whine? You wouldn't even buy them one of those? What's wrong with you?

Parents will buy themselves a stack of hardcovers but deny their child a book because of expenses. Why not trade one of those hardcovers for a softcover and get your kid a book? Or they'll buy themselves porn, or on a financially if not morally worse decision, get themselves marijuana magazines and tell the children that they brought along to the store that they can't get a book. And why not? Because having a pot magazine (or pot itself) is more important to you than your child's future? And porn instead of books for children? Really? Why not buy your child a book or two and get free porn on the internet like everybody else. Maybe if you bought your kid some books they wouldn't be such a... let's say "nuisance". After all, they're the ones who are interested in reading and learning when they ask about having a book. One day when you shut that down you may shut it down forever. But maybe I know nothing about it. I don't have any children after all. I have been one, though.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Seuss-Style Birthday

Ah, yeah, so this is a Dr. Seuss style birthday poem I wrote. I may, at some point in the future, make it longer and find an illustrator so it can be a children's book. We'll see. This is for my mum whose birthday is today. I had the idea for it yesterday and wrote it today. I'm told it sounds like I was going for so I guess it worked out well.


today is your birthday no matter how old
or how bold, cold, bitter, or if you glitter
(as some faeries do in the highlands of Tenatee
when they turn twenty-three.)

today is your birthday- the day you were born
so here is a shoe horn, a cream horn, and a gilorn
(which is like a kazoo but made just for you by the boys in DuBois)
and I'll even play the french horn
if you don't mind that my music most people call noise

today is your birthday so you ought to have fun
in the sun or enjoy a new toy
unless you would rather just blather and bluster
because after all today is for you
(and not for Lou or Sue or Jimmiky-kew)

today is your birthday- that one day a year
when cake, balloons, ice cream and presents
just seem to appear whenever you're near
so take advantage- go out and about
and spread the good cheer to all you hold dear

today is your birthday- today and not another
it's not a day like every other
it is a special day in each and every way
because whatever you say and whatever you do
you are a very special you
aproximately one in sixty-five hundred thousand thousand
people are precisely like you
so enjoy this day- the day of your birth
because today is your birthday
(at least here on earth)

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Notes to Myself

I write a lot of little notes to myself and I seem to have gathered a bunch of them on my endstand here. I was looking at them and I realize how little sense they make. Even to me. I am the one who wrote them so I can usually decipher them but I can only imagine what someone else would think if they picked them up and managed to translate my hieroglyphic chicken scratch. They would wish they had a decoder ring for it so it would start making some sense.

Notes will go like this: What the note was written on/title in bold, notes contents in italics, and finally my thoughts in regular text below.

The following was all written on the back of a page from an old day-by-day calendar at work:

Ooops Ingrams E exploer use 1
Genres
Everyone's names are made up
Buying books for children
highschool and other words that aren't but ought to be
Being titian
thing I don't understand   sports
saving money by stealing    disclaimer

I know for a fact that I wrote these down as blog ideas but if I didn't? Some kind of internet explorer (wtf is ingrams?) mistake. Genres (of books?). Not sure why everyone's names are made up. I had lots of books bought for child-me. Highschool isn't a- oh right. Titian was a painter at some point between Rome and the industrial age (and I am bad at history). I don't understand sports. You better have a disclaimer (or a good lawyer) if you are going to "save money" by stealing.


These things were written on another calendar page:

star equation
calculus equation that graphs heart
any science sufficient advanced...
lots of smart ideas in books...
chemical formula DNA

Sciencey related stuff. Three are references to equations/formulas and two are horrible misquotes.

Tiny scrap of paper:

I need a reason?
                        Insanity.


My idea of fashion.

I'm not sure if I need a reason for insanity or if insanity is the reason or if those were intended to be separate but I do know that my idea of fashion could probably be considered insanity by the fashion-conscious.


Ripped rectangle of paper side 1:

fish
ground mustard
onions
sliced cheese
half-half
tea&lemonade
pickles
marinated mushrooms
freezer pop things?

Grocery list, I guess. The strange thing is that not only do I rarely write actual lists but I never bring a writing utensil to the store with me so I clearly crossed the other things off the list before I ever went. This must have been recent (I am still looking for freeze pop things) but I don't recall making some kind of fish thing for dinner as you might expect from the list so the ingredients must be unrelated.

Ripped rectangle of paper side 2:

sugar bowt
shirts/pants
insense holder?
toy cars
bouncy balls
fruit /veggie basket
sewing kit
freeze pop things
whisk

This is another list, I think for thrift-store shopping. Two things that strike me are: I am apparently regressing back toward childhood and damn do I wish I had a holder for my insense because I keep mixing it up with my outsense.

Note that is an obvious precursor to a blog I wrote a while ago:

If it's the thought that counts...


"greeting" cards - 5.99? Buy a book.
graduate mugs
notepads for teachers
plush rabit in box like chocolate rabit
magnet/"rock"/weight/placard with any kind of saying/sentiment
pocket token
3D bookmark
picture frame no picture
gardening "rock"
measuring spoon decorative
baby powder candles
scary-looking stuffies    top heavy big heads
key-rings
bottle openers
fake plant
door knocker (I only think the second word is "knocker" because everything between k and r is pretty much illegible but "knocker" would make sense within the context)
fad item

Well, I know what this note refers to and if you don't: Click here to go read it.

And on the back of the previous I wrote:

546 Mnine Med.
Ja d. Offce
###-###-####

Two things I wrote quickly on the phone while my mother was hospitalized.

Written in (I think) Ashley's handwriting for (I think) a blog I didn't write:

please hold people
know it alls
where do I go? questionitive callers
we should know it all people
helpless
the baggage people
we are not your babysitter
married/porn
glass tappers
porn obsessed
lurkers
crazy drunks
gothic
summer stalkers
bus crew
"library" people
audio
thieves
compulsive returners
basic regulars
craftfairers
pot heads
job seekers
jokesters
travelers
"cheaper elsewhere" people


Continued to a second page:

inattentive parents
porn/parent/with kids (or family) in tow
the silent people
we are not Hallmark!
let me tell you my lifestory-
litters (I think this is meant to be "litterers")
picnic/campers
webkinznuts
are you going out of business?
recommend me
way too excited people
RAC got bored

I believe these are all about the kinds of customers we have from one night when (given the length of this list) there weren't any. My favorite (description) are the picnicers. You know, they come in, hang out, sit on the floor, read, eat a little snack, leave their garbage around on the shelves as though they think I'm their maid, and often leave without buying anything.


So, yeah, feel free to leave questions and comments about things and enjoy the sneak preview into posts that (maybe) are soon to come.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

My Religion

I occasionally talk about other religions but never about my own. I actually don't really think that it qualifies as religion, per se. I am not "spiritual" particularly. I do not pray. I take the lord's name in vain often (my number one exclamatory phrase or swear is either Jesus or Christ but I don't know which one). I do not believe in organized religion. I do not believe in donating money to organized religion. I do not believe that the bible is anything more than an interesting historical fiction. Neither is the Al-Qur'an or the Book of Mormon. I have read all three of those books and they're all quite interesting but though they may contain some true historical facts I don't believe they are the absolute truth. These are all the things I don't believe in so before you decide I must be an atheist here is one more: I don't even really believe in atheism.

I am not "spiritual" because I'm not so sure that "spiritual" actually means anything. According to the free dictionary website it is "of, relating to, consisting of, or having the nature of spirit; not tangible or material". So it is relating to things which are intangible or immaterial. Things which are immaterial and intangible can only be defined by what they are not. I, being a material creature, cannot by my very nature be immaterial and thus, cannot be spiritual. I know that this is a literal definition but I can't exactly think of a non-literal interpretation that makes sense for those people who claim to be "spiritual" unless they are merely claiming to have souls or perhaps they are claiming that they themselves are gods? I'm not sure but it doesn't seem to do with religion either way (I suppose that could be the goal of their claim).

I do not pray. I understand that the function of prayer is mostly to make the person praying feel better. I use a different coping mechanism. I don't feel bad about taking the lord's name in vain because it's just a name. Even when I practiced religion (and yes, I did do that, for years) I wasn't quite sure of the point of not taking the lord's name in vain because after all god or jesus or christ are only things that we use to label him. Human things. How can human things define a being which is supposed to be transcendent? It does not make any sense. So why does it matter if a name that has no real meaning be said in a way that it is not intended to be by humans? I can't see that it does.

I don't believe in organized religions or donating to them because organized religion is inherently corruptible, there are several verses within the bible that suggest that Jesus and/or god are against organized religion, and most of the organized religions I see out there have not only major flaws regarding sticking to their own ideology (either the specific wording there-of or the spirit of the wording) but also have major problems conducting themselves within the acceptable rules of society. Some religions might do some good but as far as your mortal soul is concerned and your standing in society and how good a person you are I don't think that organized religion is the key to any of those things.

As for the bible and other holy books you may say that the things that I think about them are only my interpretation. And I ask you in return: what is your interpretation? Whatever it is it doesn't matter. Why? Because in all likelihood you read the bible in English or your native language and unless your native language is hebrew you are automatically reading someone else's interpretation of the bible. Any conclusion you come to is skewed by them. In fact, I have read multiple versions of the bible and there's a particular verse I would like to use to illustrate this point so if you object please skip to the next paragraph at the end of this sentence. The verse is Matthew 19:5-12. In the Good News version of the bible Matthew 19:5-6 reads: "And God said, For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one. So they are no longer two, but one. No human being must separate, then, what God has joined together." His disciples then ask about divorce and Jesus explains why they cannot and then goes on to say in Matthew 19:11-12: "This teaching does not apply to everyone, but only to those to whom God has given it. For there are different reasons why men cannot marry: some, because they were born that way; others, because men made them that way; and others do not marry for the sake of the Kingdom of heaven. Let him who can accept this teaching do so." Basically this was explained to me, when I was a child, that all men should love and marry women except for those men who married themselves to the church or those who were made not to love women. Homosexuals, in other words. I grew up thinking that this was the intention of the bible. It wasn't until I was well into high school that I learned that in most bible versions Matthew 19:11-12 reads more like this (taken from the King James version): "But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it." And I think that the difference between a man who does not love women because he loves men and a man who was born unable to sexually perform is wide enough to illustrate my point.

As for why I don't believe in atheism.... well. It has to do with what atheism breaks down into as far as it's classical roots go. Theos are things pertaining to God and religion. Isms are belief systems. And here is the part that I really have a problem with. A. A, you see, is a batardized version of ab (to make words nicer things to say, mostly) and ab means "away from". Which is, I guess, a belief system away from thoughts of god. Except, that doesn't actually mean they don't believe in god (as they all claim) it just means they keep their thoughts away from him. And they even fail at that, actually, because every time they say they're an atheist (or god comes up in conversation or everyday life) they are failing to follow their own beliefs. I can only conclude that no one is a successful atheist and if you want to be one perhaps you should find a different name for it.

All that and I still haven't said what I actually believe in. I sometimes like to tell people that I'm either agnostic or pantheistic- depending on how you look at it. I do, in fact, believe in a higher power but you could also argue that because I do not believe in a specific power (e.g. God) I can rightfully claim every religion. I know a bit about many religions. Aside from having read the aforementioned books I also know a great deal about Latin and Greek mythology from taking Latin in highschool. I know about Buddhism and Hinduism. I know about all the old Norse gods and some of the Native American gods as well as Mayan and Aztec beliefs. I know about animism and Wicca and I attended services at every different church (including Catholic, various Protestant churches, Seventh Day Adventist, and Mormon service) in the area where I used to live. I think that pretty much every religion has at least one beautiful aspect to it. The only religions I object to are ones that cause you to hurt yourself or others. I don't believe in the aspects of religions that break the law, as well.

Agnosticism or Pantheism really don't quite describe my beliefs perfectly, though. I like science and math, and I believe in evolution* and rigorous scientific inquiry. There is no way for us to prove at present that a god (any god, or even multiple gods) exist. Unlike other people who say that they don't believe in god because it cannot be proven and they only will if it is I'm actually, arguably, more rational. After all, there would not be a whole lot of scientific progress if they weren't a lot of crazy people in history that believed in things that they could not prove (or at least could not prove yet). And yet you enter a sort of a Schrodinger's** Religion scenario. Say that there can only be one true religion and the answer to what that is is inside a box that cannot be opened. Until you can open the box you have to assume that all possibilities are true.

So what do I believe? What do I really believe? I believe in possibilities. It is possible that the Catholics have it right or that the Romans were correct or that the Mayans were and retribution will come down from Quetzecoatl in 2012. It's possible that any religion or even all of them are right. It's equally possible that Earth is an alien science fair experiment created long ago. I don't know and I can't know so I can believe in everything. I don't practice a religion as such (by praying or attending church) but that doesn't mean I can't believe in them or convert to every single one I can think of in a single day if only in my own heart. So yes, there are a lot of things I don't believe in, but on the other hand there are a whole lot more that I do.


* If you argue that evolution is merely a theory I say to you: so is gravity and the next time you argue against the theory of evolution I hope the gods of irony set you floating into space.

** For those who do not know Schrodinger's Cat is a famous thought experiment. You have to imagine that there is a cat inside a box. The cat has been poisoned. The cat is either alive or dead but neither can be known until you open the box so in the interim you have to think that the cat is both alive and dead at the same time.

Friday, June 10, 2011

My Idea of Dieting

I do not claim to be a doctor, dietitian, nutritionist, or anyone who ought to have any knowledge of dieting. I do not recommend following following this. If you chose to do so you do so at your own risk.

I have dieted exactly twice in my life. The first time I lost forty pounds in six months, became incredibly ill for a month, discovered I had precipitous gallstones, and thusly had to have one of my organs removed. As a result of the illness I lost even more weight and was at the thinnest I've been since reaching, roughly, my current height. Over the past seven or so years I gained back all the weight I lost and more and hadn't tried to diet again because I had this strange aversion to it though I cannot possibly imagine what that might be exactly- organ removal, perhaps? However my weight recently reached a particular round number that I definitely did not like. I had also recently seen a documentary about this guy who eats a certain way for thirty days (hint: I do not mean Super Size Me). So I decided to start losing weight again with the second diet I have ever undertaken.

Now, both times I have dieted I have not particularly followed a doctor-prescribed diet. I took all the dieting information I knew about and I did what I always do with a lot of information. I drew my own conclusions about what I should or should not do to lose weight. Quicktrim, Slim-Fast, Weight Watchers, and Jenny Craig are all flawed. So many diets are completely flawed. Dieting is about loosing weight but so many people gain that weight back because of the diet. Loosing weight shouldn't be about loosing weight it should be about changing your lifestyle to be healthier and as a result loosing weight. So my idea of dieting is not so much a diet as an... interesting course of action.

Each phase is to be added to the preceded phases, not done separately.

Phase 0: Be an unhealthy, overweight person. I had that one covered. If you are healthy (and aren't lying to yourself) but are overweight you should see a doctor and ask if you are pregnant and/or have some kind of thyroid problem.

Phase I: Lower your carbohydrate intake, increase your protein intake, and lower you overall calorie intake. That means eat eggs for breakfast instead of cereal, drinking diet soda, staying away from pasta, eating your burger without the bun and skipping the french fries.
Avoid snacking in between meals. Do not starve yourself. Do not count calories, count carbs obsessively, or exercise. Do not worry about the amount of fat or cholesterol you consume. Weigh yourself once per week (preferably on the same day each week.) Track your weight on the calendar.
When you weight has not gone down for at least two weeks in a row or it has gone down an insignificant amount in that time you should move on to the next phase. If this happens within the first two weeks you were either too healthy to begin with or you cheated. Cheating is strictly against the rules.

Phase II: Give up all non-diet soda, juice, and other beverages such as lattes which contain excessive carbohydrates. You may want to invest in a pitcher, a  Bobble, and a bunch of Crystal Light (I would not suggest putting Crystal Light in the Bobble, if you want portable Crystal Light get the individual packets and a water bottle if you don't have one already). Coffee, brewed in the traditional way (sorry, no instant, no cappuccino) and prepared to taste with Splenda or another zero calorie sweetener and creamer (or coffee whitening powder if you prefer) that does not contain a sweetener is acceptable. Tea (not tea in a can or bottle but made out of plants and not flavoring) prepared in this manner is also acceptable. You can even make your caffeinated beverage iced. I say that caffeinated beverages are okay because not only is caffeine the most addictive substance in the world and giving it up is miserable but also because caffeine is a diuretic which will cause you to- let's say expel waste more often than you might usually and, of course, how is the weight that you're supposed to be loosing get out of your body if you don't? Exactly.
Once again wait for your weight to plateau before moving on to the next phase.

Phase III: Add zero-calorie or negative calorie fruits and vegetables into your diet, as part of at least one daily meal and/or in between meals as snacks. Zero calorie foods are foods which are high in fiber and require a lot of chewing. Eating these foods raw is the nest method of consuming them at it required the most effort for your body to break them down and thus more calories are consumed to consume them. Got that? So celery, apples, pickles, that kind of thing. Or, you are welcome to look it up yourself. You should also begin to chew sugarless gum at this phase after meals or generally whenever you can or want to. Gum is not only sweet and can be used to help curb a sweet-tooth but also burns calories without you having to get up from your desk.
Wait a couple of weeks when your weight has plateaued before moving on. Since this is such an implausibly useful phase I intend to completely blame your inability to follow the plan if you don't make it past a couple of weeks losing weight at this phase.

Phase IV: Begin to accurately track the number of calories you consume and also the amount of carbohydrates you intake. Compare this to a healthy diet. Ignore this information. Actually write down how much you eat for every meal but do not be concerned about the numbers. Writing it down is the most important part.
Wait a couple weeks and proceed to the next phase.

Phase V: Begin to exercise ninety minutes a week. That is one half hour three times a week or fifteen minutes every day save one. You should never exercise less than fifteen minutes at a time. Exercise is anything that physically challenges you more than you usually do. A brisk walk, a run, using a push mower (unless you are already a professional landscaper already), walk up and down the stairs to your apartment (or wherever you use the stairs to go) like you have developed some kind of OCD and need to do it multiple times to be satisfied.
Continue doing this until your weight plateaus again then move on to phase VI.

Phase VI:  Add one half hour or exercise or alternately increase the vigor of your exercise sessions as your progressively plateau.
Continue until acceptable weight is attained then move on to the next phase.

Phase VII: Continue to monitor your weight closely and consider what you eat. Exercise regularly and don't go to excesses in eating. If you start to gain think about what you have been eating, exercise more and cut carbohydrates for a while.
Revel in your successfully healthy lifestyle. You're welcome.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Pyramid Schemes, Multilevel Marketing, & Paying It Forward

Oh, there's a million and more get rich quick schemes on the internet. You can work from home with no experience and make thousands of dollars a week. You can do data entry as a single mother. You can sell Melaleuca. You can write for WikiPeers. You can write freelance.  You can blog about nothing and the dough will just come rolling in. You can learn how to sell things on ebay. You can even create your own promise of work for other people in order to scam them out of their money. Wait- did that last one sound a little weird? Well, so far as I can tell that's what a lot of people do to earn money through the power of the internet. Sure, you could get rich selling Melaleuca or selling things on ebay. You can even find real data entry work. However, the vast majority of the "perfect internet jobs" are not so perfect. Most of them ask you for money up front and never allow you to earn any. Others if you earn any money it is because of the goodwill of your friends and family and beyond that no one will buy anything from you. And if you find any real ones there's probably several hundred other people who have already applied for it.

Specifically I wanted to talk about Pyramid Schemes and Multilevel Marketing. The way a pyramid scheme works is like this: There's a really charismatic guy or girl at the top of the pyramid that convinces a bunch of other people that if they give that charismatic person say, a hundred dollars they then have the right to use that company to convince even more people that if they give them money (part of which goes to the charismatic guy) they can also make money and so one and so forth. So, to recap: Charismatic Person < Top Level < Second Level < Infinite other levels < Money flows along arrows. Got that. And anyone on pretty much any of the lower levels just gives money to the top levels but never gets any of his own. And there is of course the fact that Pyramid schemes never work.

Pyramid schemes never work because of two facts. Fact one: There are a finite number of people in the world. Fact two: There are a finite number of people who will believe that giving someone their hard-earned money now will let them get more money later. Eventually no more people can be convinced and the original person (having gotten a cut of all the money flowing up the levels) lets the pyramid collapse because it's starting to cost money to maintain and maintaining a functioning business is not the goal of the original charismatic person- making money is.

Multilevel marketing works kind of like a pyramid scheme but they sell actual products and the goal of the company is to sell products. As an example I will use Melaluca because I happen to have felt like looking it up lately. They sell these non-toxic soaps and cleaning products and things which are pricey (compared to what you can buy in the store anyway). So say your work-friend Kitty has already bought some of this stuff and decided maybe she can sell it to other people and make money. So she tells you about it and you because you are a vegetarian or have children you don't want dying from eating soap or because you want to help her out you buy some of their products. You think it's a good idea and you might be able to spread the word to some other people and earn a little bit, too. So you become a seller. If Kitty not only convinces enough people to buy from the company and also becomes sellers she has moved up a level and gets more money (I hope.) The way it works is directly related to how large a purchase is. So if you buy $50.00 worth of stuff Kitty gets $5.00 (or 10%). If you convince someone else to buy stuff you can get 10% as well and Kitty gets money, too. You see how the money flows up the levels just like the pyramid scheme? You know how else it's like the pyramid scheme? That's right, you don't earn any money.

I mean, sure, if you work really hard at it, devote time and effort to it, and convince a lot of people to not only buy products but also sell them you could one day become rich doing it. However, if you, like most of us, have a job or go to school or have children, you know anything that takes a lot of time and precludes going out and selling constantly then it's very unlikely you'll make even enough money to cover products you bought from the company. Say you buy $50 worth of stuff because Kitty said you'd like it. You now have to convince other people to buy $500 dollars worth of stuff just to get back the money you spent. Quick- can you name ten people who would want to buy expensive, non-toxic cleaning products and remember to credit you when they do so so as you get your 10%? ....................... Right. I think that was a long enough pause that you either concluded you could not or started to list them and got stuck.

So Pyramid Schemes and Multilevel marketing are both good for that charismatic guy and/or the company itself but not so good for you even if multilevel marketing at least isn't actually out to screw you in the shorts. The third thing I thought I'd be opinionated about a little is Paying it Forward. I may vaguely have heard of the concept of paying it forward before my brother graduated high school several years ago but his graduation ceremony was when I was first really introduced to this idea. One of my brothers teachers told some stories and then said that the point of the stories was paying it forward. And then he gave each graduate two dollars and invited them to pay it forward. Basically it works like a reverse pyramid scheme. The originator helps a bunch of other people who, in turn, feel inclined to help others as well and so on and so forth. This idea is pretty hugely prevalent. There's a country song called The Chain Of Love, it's been featured in advertisements (I vaguely recall them, I suspect they might be some kind of car ad), and used more subtly in televisions and the like. And yet... it hasn't seemed to have taken hold among the population. Has it? I don't want to speculate on what that means for human nature but it turns out that even reverse pyramid scams don't work, giving all three the same thing in common.

So if you're ever tempted to participate in a pyramid scheme, multilevel marketing, or want to pay it forward- pick the last one so at least you're not hurting anyone.