Reasons That You're Probably Insane

You're probably insane if you:

Ever talk to yourself outloud
Ever answer your own questions
Ever talk to your pets
Ever talk to inanimate objects
Compulsively check your e-mail
Compulsively check your Facebook
Blow off real-world activities in order to tend your farm in Farmville
Blow off real-world activities in order to play any flash game
Spend multiple hours each day playing any kind of game
Feel inexplicable joy when your cellphone goes off
Feel joy when other people are hurt
Fail to feel anything in response to tragedy
Feel joy in response to tragedy
Feel any other otherwise inappropriate emotion during any situation in which a normal person would feel one specific and obvious emotion
Take any kind of medication
Practice any kind of religion
Pray during scary, life-threatening, or stressful situations
Actively try to be unique
Obsessively try to fit in and be like everyone else
Obsess over the lives of celebrities
Frequently watch the news
Exercise on a regular basis
Drink sweat farmed from animals
Are a omnivore
Are a vegan or vegetarian
Are pro-life
Are pro-choice
Have ever lived on terra firma
Know how to read the english language
Think that I'm just using this list to play games with your head

Reasons I Might Be Crazy

Some reasons I might be crazy:


I often find myself counting my steps.
When I'm in the grocery store I find myself counting in foreign languages in my head as I navigate around people. When I do this and get to a point I can't remember I switch rapidly to another language and cycle through all the ones I know.
I frequently practice conversations with people in advance.
I frequently come up with comebacks or funny stories to tell in advance.
Even though many things bother me to the point of distraction I deal with them passive aggressively rather than head-on.
I over-plan simple things like bus trips to unfamiliar places and conversations I don't want to have.
I sometimes wait to see if problems will go away before dealing with them.
I carry on conversations with myself in my head. Both talking to and answering myself.
I narrate my life inside my head editing as I go along. You know how Scrubs is narrated? I do that. All the time.
I never stop thinking. My head is always busy.
I tap on things and pace back and forth when I'm uncomfortable.
I go through the same motions again and again when I deal with customers to the point that I even brush my hair out of my eyes at the same points during every transaction.
I come up with optimal PC phrases to say to customers to make them happy and use them over and over again.
I am not fond of greetings.
I am startled when I am referred to by my real name. Especially outloud.
I begin conversations with no preamble.
I talk about whatever I happen to be thinking about at any given time.
I can be quiet for long stretches some times but at others I speak like it's a compulsion.
I have this paranoia that I need to get a MRI to find out if I have Multiples Sclerosis.
I prefer fantasy to reality.