The Man Who Golfs in Thunderstorms

A man who golfs in thunderstorms is, without a doubt, looking for trouble. And a someone who attracts emotional drama like a man who golfs in thunderstorms? Well, that's a person worth writing about. I will not mention this person's name, reveal the identity of those they are involved with, talk about anything I have been specifically asked not to talk about, or generally do anything worth suing over. Because yes, this is a real person and real events I'm about to detail. Why? Because it's worth writing about, as I mentioned, and also because he's kind of been driving me insane lately. Passive aggressive much? Well, maybe a little.

I have known the Golfer for about a year now, I guess. He is, I think, twenty-six years old. He was married right out of high school for seven years to what I have been told was a very crazy person but that's really all I know about that. He moved down to the city that I live in about a year ago to be with this girl who seemed all right the couple times I met her. Very laid-back pot-smoking individual living hippie-style with a bunch of other people. We'll call this girl Sea. He was living with Sea (and the other people that lived in the house) and working down here and he somehow managed to drive Sea away by being too cuddly. Seriously. That's pretty much how he explained it to me.

As a result of the fact that the Golfer was living with Sea when they broke up he came to "temporarily" live on our couch until he could "find his own apartment" because the Golfer is my roommate's brother. So the Golfer moved out of Sea's house and onto our couch. For a while after he spent a bunch of time "taking rides" with a chick that he was working with that I will call Elle. I met Elle a couple of times and she seemed okay but was obviously much more interested in dating the Golfer that he was in dating her. And by that I mean that the Golfer liked hanging out with her but didn't want to date her and was totally oblivious of the fact that Elle wanted to date him. So he hung out with this Elle chick for a couple of weeks until he started something with another coworker whom I will call Thorn. There's a reason that I decided this particular person's codename should be Thorn and I'm sure you'll figure out why as you read on.

So let me tell you what I know about Thorn given that I can't recall having met her (and I don't think I actually have met her at any point). Thorn is twenty-one and so just a little older than myself being as I am almost twenty-one at the time of this writing. Before he started dating her the Golfer already knew two things about her that would have made me not want to date her at all. Number one, Thorn has cancer. Not cancer in the way that I jokingly say that all of your cells are cancerous but cancer as in she has a tumor growing in one of her lymph nodes or something to that effect. Number two, Thorn also has Multiple Sclerosis. They say that the younger you are diagnosed the worse your MS is. I have personal experience with MS as my mother was diagnosed when I was ten and my aunt a few years later. My mother was diagnosed in her forties, had good health insurance to cover medications and the thousands of dollars worth of injections she does every year and she's still been noticeably affected by her MS. I cannot imagine being with a twenty-one-year-old who was diagnosed with MS. Especially not because she was diagnosed because she started falling.

So, maybe I'm a terrible person but I wouldn't have started dating Thorn. But the Golfer did. And she already seemed to have some relationship issues. Around the time they started dating she had just taken a restraining order out against her previous boyfriend whom she had been living with. Which, to me, was an obvious sign of trouble. You know, one of life's roadsigns that states "Whoa there, use your big head to think about this one" but should really be accompanied Ian McKellan's voice as Gandalf saying "You shall not pass." But at first Thorn seemed weirdly... generous by buying the Golfer a fancy phone
and putting it on her phone plan and such. But by the time their two-week anniversary rolled around her bitchy insanity started to become clear. And if I weren't a terrible person and had actually started dating her it would have been at this point that I stopped. When people who aren't ridiculously wealthy, fabulously beautiful celebrities are dating and one of them is insane at least one of them is going to end up hurt so it's best to end it as quickly as possible. The Golfer did not do this.

Instead he spent a lot of time at her place (when she had moved in somewhere her ex was not inhabiting) and not just while she was there. He started to get all buddy-buddy with her roommate(s?) and their friend(s?) because they liked Magic and the Golfer does as well. He'd even sleep in her room when she was not there. This seems a little creepy to me but I guess that could just be my opinion. He announced one day that he was going to move in with her since he was spending so much time over there anyway. But he was not officially going to move in until the beginning of the next month. Before that could happen Thorn got cold feet or something and decided she needed to go and stay with some people (and not just some people but from what I understand these people were restraining-order-ex's family) to sort out her feelings. Then the Golfer announced that he would not be moving until August at the earliest (it being June still at this point).

Things sort of seemed better between Thorn and the Golfer after she "thought about things". For a few minutes, anyway, because it was just after that things took a turn for the worse. Thorn went to go and get a IUD (a internal contraceptive device if you're not familiar) implanted upon the orders of a doctor different than her usual one. So after getting the IUD implanted Thorn went off to work and because she didn't want to lose any money by leaving she suffered through painful cramps and bleeding during her shift and returned to the emergency room afterward. It turned out that she'd had a spontaneous abortion because that's what happens if you're already pregnant and you have a IUD implanted. Despite the fact that she supposedly knew about it the doctor that ordered the IUD did not tell Thorn that she was already pregnant. I don't know about you but I feel like if I was a doctor giving orders for a patient who was already pregnant to get a contraceptive device implanted it might occur to me the idiotic redundancy of the situation. How about you?

The part that struck me as weirdly out of place was that when the Golfer relayed this information to me he told me about the spontaneous abortion first and then told me that wasn't even the worst part. He interrupted himself then to assure me that it was his and that wasn't the bad part. He then explained about how the doctor that ordered the IUD supposedly knew about the pregnancy but didn't tell Thorn because she knew from her chart that she'd recently had a painful miscarriage and didn't think that she would want it. The part that struck me as weirdly out of place? The assurance that it was, of course, his. I think if I were in that situation worrying about whether it was mine or not (as it was already gone anyway) would be sort of low down on my list of priorities. I'd be thinking a lot more about suing the doctor because hey, that is what malpractice insurance is for, right? I certainly wouldn't be thinking about naming the dead fetus or getting my skin permanently etched with ink to commemorate the life (if you can call it that) of the fetus.

So while the Golfer was busy designing a tattoo and thinking about suing doctors another thought had occurred to me. What if Thorn didn't have a spontaneous abortion because of the IUD? What if Thorn had gotten an abortion and made up the crazy story about the IUD and the emergency room visit and the doctor who knew she was pregnant because she, Thorn, didn't want to be pregnant and didn't want to tell the Golfer? I was almost inclined to believe that there was a sue-worthy doctor oversight because that somehow seemed more acceptable to me than the idea that someone crazy enough to make up a story like that to cover up getting an abortion existed. So my mind went with the slightly less insane option.

Meanwhile in Wonderland where it's starting to look more and more like Thorn lives, Thorn pushes the Golfer away and her ex-boyfriend (of the restraining order, if you recall) comes to stay with her for a while. At first it seems like she and the Golfer are merely fighting as a result of the emotional trauma that has happened but then, despite a lack of status-change on Facebook (a ever-important relationship indicator in this day and age), it seemed like they were not dating. There was nothing particularly definite about it but it seemed like it had been just a few days between my wondering whether they were still together at all and the Golfer getting a date invitation from a dating website. When did the Golfer sign up for a dating website? I have no idea. What possessed him to want to get involved with another girl so soon? Well, let's just say I don't think those were thoughts that went through the head he keeps on his shoulders (apparently for decoration).

Not only did the Golfer get a date but he got a date invitation from a hot Asian chick. The Golfer is, admittedly, not the hunkiest studmuffin in the world despite the fact that you might get that impression from his string of girls. Now, when a hot chick who is on a dating website invites a guy who isn't swimming in riches to go on a date it should be obvious that there is something about this girl that makes her undesirable for dating. And the first time the Golfer met up with the hot Asian chick (whom I will be calling Ruska because despite the fact that she is extremely Asian she has this really obviously inappropriate and incredibly Russian name) in a sort of pre-date thing he found out what it was. Ruska, whose age I do not know but is (hopefully) at least mid-twenties, has two children. One child is four and the other one is just a year old. During the pre-date she invited him to go on a second non-date ostensibly to see if her younger child was going to be okay going to movies. But this was not a date. This was a test. I even flat-out told him that it was not a date but a test.

Now, the Golfer claims that he is not looking for a serious relationship especially not after the thing with Thorn. And yet despite knowing that the non-date with Ruska and her children was a test the Golfer went anyway. Maybe I wasn't clear enough with my warning about the test. Going meant he passed the test. So while he may have verbally said to Ruska that he just wanted to be "friends" or something and that he wasn't looking for a serious relationship the signals he sent to her by passing the test were quite the opposite. Going to a kid's movie with someone else and their children and being cool about it sends long-term relationship signals whether you like it or not. Regardless of the signals the Golfer sent Ruska sent some of her own as well and not just by being the one to initiate contact and set the date. The Golfer and Ruska and her older child (the younger one ended up not even going despite being the pseudo-reason for the outing) were the only ones in the theater and the kid wanted to be all grown up and sit a few rows in front of them. So the Golfer had a little x-rated Winnie the Pooh experience.

To continue with the mixed signal-sending the Golfer has gone to hang out with Ruska on multiple occasions even though they're just supposed to be friends and he isn't looking for a long-term relationship. Not only that but the Golfer had Ruska (and her children) over to our (and by "our" I mean mine and my actual roommate's not the Golfer's because he's just supposed to be crashing with us "temporarily"... since March) apartment on at least two occasions while I was home. This is wrong not just because of the mixed signals thing but also because not only is our apartment not particularly child-friendly but also because the Golfer sleeps on our couch and doesn't have a room. My roommate was not very happy when he found out that the Golfer took Ruska into his room and did ... I don't know because they shut the door one of the days that she was over (the day when she just brought the one littler kid who seemed to be sleeping both when they arrived and left).

Meanwhile in Wonderland Thorn has apparently decided that she still wants to be together with the Golfer. At this point the Golfer is not so sure he wants to be together with Thorn and it might be that sanity is kicking in or maybe it's the "friendship" with Ruska that's giving him courage but he basically tells Thorn he doesn't want to be with her anymore. Despite this (because she lives in Wonderland, after all) Thorn text-messages him constantly, sends him messages on Facebook and whatever else and perhaps they even have face-to-face conversations. Having read some of their text messages her tone in these conversations varies wildly between sweet and loving and all "I love you and want to be with you, the Golfer" to angry, resentful, mistrustful and quite "I want to cut off your balls and roast them over a fire because everything bad that has ever happened in the world is ALL YOUR FAULT!" Not only that but Thorn is trying every manipulation card in the book. Up to and literally including a manipulation ("greeting") card she gave him to tell him about what for the moment I will call the surprise plot twist.

Because the card just so happens to be sitting on one of the end-tables in my living room I will include the complete text here:

"As long as I have you, no problem will ever be too big, no day will ever be lonely, no smile will ever go unshared... because as long as I have you, I'll always have everything I need to be happy." That was just the text that was printed on the card though the underlined words were done by Thorn. On the inside cover in her hand Thorn writes: "Whats Meant to be will always Find away~" On the opposite page underneath the inner printed text Thorn writes (note that "Claire" and the replacement of -illegible- for something unreadable and "Thorn" instead of her real name are the only changes I made): "today one of the best things happened, the dr said Claire Might still be here, we did blood work and only time will tell. Nothings definite it could be Ectopic all I know is there is still a chance for our little girl to be here and after loosing -illegible- yesterday I need this Miracle. fer now I'd like this to stay between you and I as if we do lose her No one really gets hurt. But our little Girl Might still be with us. Congrats daddy! Thorn"

Oh yes, you read that correctly, in Wonderland through the magic of plot twists dead fetuses become live festuses again. I know that was a bit crude but I feel I can be nothing but blatant in the face of that reality. Because that seems to be the reality. The medical explanation for this being that she did not have a spontaneous abortion but rather the bleeding was from her body rejecting the IUD and she was still pregnant with this child they'd been mourning. I feel like it has been long enough that she may have noticed prior to saying anything at all to the Golfer. So why wait until now to tell him? Maybe because she wanted to go to the doctor first? But she didn't wait for the test results. So maybe because of Ruska? Or maybe she got pregnant again (possibly from the restraining-order ex she was seeing again)? Or maybe she's not pregnant at all because she's been threatening to get an abortion (after mourning this clump of cells)? I have no idea. Because this is now. Right now it's a soap-opera choose-your-own-adventure of futures.

Oh wait, one more thing, because a good soap opera does not stand for just one major plot twist. Sometimes they're super-sneaky and throw two major plot twists together. Because the morning the Golfer comes home to report about Thorn's apparently pregnant state he also asks my roommate (the Golfer's brother) how he feels about being an Uncle? Which is confusing because the Golfer and roommate's older brother has three children. But then the Golfer added the single word "twice" and his meaning was suddenly, weirdly clear, because as it turns out not only is Thorn still pregnant but Ruska is pregnant as well.

Today's lesson: Condoms are cheaper than children.

What happens now in the exciting new adventures of The Man Who Golfs in Thunderstorms? I really have no idea but I think I can feel some August thunderstorms brewing.

Check Yourself Out

Several months ago the grocery store which I go to all the time (the specific location, I mean, because even without a car I could be at five of this particular kind of grocery store within an hour and three are in the same town) installed three self-checkout units in their store. I loved the self-checkouts from the moment I tried one. Why? Because I often buy lunch at this grocery store while I am at work. I go in and grab three items, scan them all through in a few seconds myself and swipe my card and I'm in and out in a few minutes and I never have to wait in line. At least it was like that for the first few weeks. Until other people started using them.

At first there were a lot of weight errors from these people but that can mostly be blamed on an inherent flaw in the self-checkout system. In fact, there are several flaws with the self-checkout system I'd like to point out. People have no idea what to do with their baskets because there's no place to put them so they leave them on the first scale to cause problems for the next person. There should be a delay built into the message the machine gives when something is set on the second scale or placed into a bag that the machine feels is incorrect as the vast majority of the time after a couple seconds the item settles and it cuts off the message. The input for eco-bags should be much more obvious so people don't end up with weight errors from the bags. There should be blank areas in the carrousel so eco-bags can be loaded easily as the flat top of it is too high (especially for short people) and you can't load on the part with the plastic bags or it's uneven and you get weight errors. There should also be a super-obvious way to enter the PLU code of a produce item rather than going through the menus to find it. So yes, there are several flaws with the machines, and I just listed them so obviously they're not that hard to figure out and avoid.

Perhaps, I should have said before that all was going well until other people started abusing them. People had used them before but this was all in a very competent manner and there were three of those things so you never saw a line forming. But then, all of a sudden, it somehow became okay for all of these idiots to use the self-checkout. A perfect example of all the things not to do at the self-checkout presented itself to me the other day. I ended up having to go to a line with people in front of me and a actual human handling the transaction and it took me less time than it would have waiting at the self-checkout because of the people there. One of the people was trying to buy a big bottle of alcohol- something it should be obvious that you cannot do because, after all, there's no one there to check your ID and see that you're of age or remove the big lock thing on the cap. One of the other people had a giant cart full of groceries that they were running through the self-checkout which the poor machine is emphatically not intended for (not to mention the large signs posted that indicate that large orders should be taken to other registers). The person with the giant cart also had a bunch of produce items that they were many levels less adept at finding than a real cashier would be causing the process to take even longer. And at the third one there were two people puzzling out how to use the machine and the one in charge sent the other back into the store to collect some forgotten item while he and everyone else waited. Those two people then attempted to pay with cash instead of credit and while the machines are admittedly better at taking cash than a standard vending machine they still aren't nearly as good at that as they are at reading a magnetic strip.

WIC checks, cigarettes, alcohol, weight errors, eco-bags, produce flubs, EBT cards, using cash, leaving baskets or even carts, going back to get stuff, giant orders, leaving unwanted items on the scale, failing to take receipts and on and on and on. All things that could be avoided if these people made the sensible decision to allow at least a trained if not necessarily "professional" employee of the store handle their transaction instead of thinking (mistakenly) they can do it themselves. Self-checkouts should be reserved for people that can handle them because honestly I don't know how some of those people manage to check themselves out in the mirror in the morning and indeed some of them look like they don't even own one. And if you can't even check yourself out in the mirror perhaps you need to check yourself in somewhere (or have someone do it for you).

An Update On Blue Hoodie Guy

For a explanation of who Blue Hoodie Guy is and what he does simply see my previous post. If you've already read it then move on to the next paragraph for a very special update on Blue Hoodie Guy.

The previous blog post I wrote about Blue Hoodie Guy turned out to be a public service. It helped get him arrested. Yes, that's right, writing on the internet about getting stalked home by a guy whose real name I do not know helped get him arrested. I know, I impress myself sometimes, too. (I've also been known for spraining my arm by stroking my ego- and no I don't mean that way.)

One of my coworkers read my blog at some point between when I posted it and her first shift of the week this week. Even though we talk for multiple hours every week the getting stalked home event and her first shift of the week (always a friday because she only works friday and saturday) were timed so that I hadn't talked to her at all yet this week which meant I hadn't told her either about the event or about the post yet. She read it prior to coming in to work, though, and she decided when she noticed we had security on that day (security is there on a seemingly random schedule which is, I guess, the, cough, cost-effective method of having security) that she would go and warn him about Blue Hoodie Guy. She told him what Blue Hood Guy looks like, you know, blue hoodie, bicycle helmet, bluejeans, tall and skinny. She also told him about Blue Hoodie Guy's history in and around the Mall and about how he had stalked one of her coworkers all the way to their house earlier in the week. So, being a good security guard, he promised to keep an eye out for someone matching that description just in case. Lo and behold he saw someone matching that description a short time later and this person was- surprise of surprises, I'm sure- harassing a couple of girls. Now, ordinarily, as long as the situation did not seem serious (i.e. there was no touching, violent threats, public nudity, or any actually illegal activity) he probably would have just rescued the girls and kicked Blue Hoodie Guy off the property but since this was Blue Hoodie Guy and he had a history of this sort of behavior he called the cops and had him arrested.

Blue Hoodie Guy has had the cops called on him many times, as it turns out, so much so that the cops knew him by name and also knew where he lived. Most of the time the cops are called on him Blue Hoodie Guy is not charged or even held for any length of time because he doesn't trespass, touch anyone, whip it out, or get too specific with his verbal desires so they actually can't arrest him for anything. Being creepy is not illegal in this country so they can only remove him from the situation in those instances by taking him home. And then they maybe talk to his mother whom I get the impression that he lives with but I don't know for sure. This time, however, the cops agreed to hold him in jail at least for as long as they were legally allowed (if they couldn't find anything to charge him with, that was). The Mall was also more than happy to issue a ban to him so if he comes back he will be trespassing (which is actually not much of an offense as far as I can tell unless he happens to be carrying a firearm in which case it would be a felony).

So, to add to my list of accomplishments I have the following:

Get stalked resulting in writing about it resulting in mall security knowing about stalker resulting in stalker getting arrested.

Blue Hoodie Guy

So there is this guy that we call "Blue Hoodie Guy" because he always wears one. Always. Even in the middle of the summer. He also bikes everywhere and pretty much always wears a helmet over his hoodie even while inside. The company that I work for actually took out a restraining order against this guy a few years back because he was harassing the employees. A while after the restraining order ran out he started to show up in the store again and at first he didn't really hang out in it or anything but at the first sign of harassment the company threatened again to take out a restraining order against him and this time the largest store in the Mall (which is not actually in the Mall proper if that makes any sense but is still part of the same building) agreed to go in on the restraining order, which would have forced him to stay far away from the entire Mall where before he only had to stay a particular distance from the company I work for's actual store front. He volunteered to stay away rather than have a restraining order taken out again.

I can't be certain but it seems like Blue Hoodie Guy bikes all around the city all day every day even in the rain and snow and I've seen him biking around multiple times after learning about his existence and since he was threatened with a second restraining order. But prior to last night he had never seen me while he was biking last night. I don't know if he knew/remembered that I worked at the place that I work as I only saw him there a couple of times or if he just does this with random people. After work last night I needed a few groceries so I went into the store and picked them up and then started to walk home with them. I was walking across the parking lot of the McDonald's (located at the corner of the Mall property) when I heard someone's voice and bike noises and I knew immediately that it was him. Blue Hoodie Guy. Talking to me.

At first he just said "hey" a couple of times, trying to get my attention. And then he asked me, using this exact phrase, if I needed a "bicycle companion". I wanted to laugh. Because not only does that not really make any sense but even if he meant to ask, as I figured, if I needed an escort wherever I was going since I was walking alone in the dark at night I still wanted to laugh. I've walked back and forth to work pretty much every time I've had to work since we moved into our apartment last November. Aside from being asked for money a few times (I'll let you sort out the irony of asking someone walking to work for money on your own) and once being asked if I wanted to hear the word of God today I've never had any trouble on my way home. And judging from some of the stories I've heard about Blue Hoodie Guy having him "escort" me home could very well be much worse than being panhandled or badgered by religious people.

I told him that I was all set and I believe it was then that he told me the first time that his mother was a Presbyterian Minister. Is this supposed to comfort me in some way? I am really uncertain. My mother is a school teacher but that does not automatically mean I can rattle off random historical facts the way she can or have infinite patience to explain something to someone. So why tell me that his mother is a Presbyterian Minister? Unless that is his idea of a pick up line? (And if you just thought 'he might be on to something there' you would be wrong.) He then told me that he was going to Wendy's which is just up the road from McDonald's in the direction that I was heading. He amended this statement to say Wendy's or Burger King (up the road a little ways farther) a few seconds later. He then told me that he used to work at Wendy's but not this Wendy's the one out by the Mall on Stillwater. (Which explains why, when I first told my brother about Blue Hoodie Guy, he knew exactly who I was talking about because he came in there all the time.)

In fact he went neither to Wendy's nor to Burger King. Instead he followed me all the way to my apartment building. I was really hoping that if I ignored him he would go away or go and do as he said he would and go to Wendy's. This was not the case. He followed me and despite my not really talking to him he talked to me and even found time to repeat several things. He said the following phrases word-for-word multiple times: "I know you don't really know me that well", "My mother is a Presbyterian Minister", "I used to work at Wendy's but not this Wendy's the one out by the Mall on Stillwater", "I have ancestor's from Maine", "I lived in England for about five years". He even told me about all the different things he likes to order at various fastfood restaurants.

He was still following when I rounded the corner and my apartment building came into view. I could see both Sean (roommate) and Ryan's (brother of roommate) cars out front so I pointedly commented that both of my roommates were home. When I started to walk up to the building entrance he said: "I know you don't know me very well but do you want my phone number?" I said I did not. And he proceeded to spout it off anyway. Then he said: "You don't want some companionship?" I said no. "Are you sure you don't want some companionship?" He asked me this multiple times as I entered the building and headed up the stairs (the front door is perpetually propped open in the summer and the stairs are right there so I could still hear him. I was on the third set up and he was still asking (from outside, thankfully) so I yelled something that implied that I was sleeping with my roommates (yes, both of them) and disappeared inside my apartment as quickly as possible and fumbled to lock it behind me.

So what did I learn? I need to invest in some creep repellant. I learned that hoping creeps will go away is not effective. I also learned that yelling you are going to have a threesome with your roommates may be the best way to end any conversation.

Living as Roommates

Roommate
Does (did) most of the dishes.
Takes out the trash most often.
Sweeps occasionally (pretty much all our apartment ever gets swept).
Sometimes cleans up in other ways.
Once a week (tops) he might give me a ride somewhere.
Buys toilet paper (though rarely the same quality and not often the same amount) roughly every other time we need it.
Holds responsibility for paying rent to our landlord (actually transferring the money over, I mean, I write him a check and his brother also gives him money to contribute to the rent).
Has the electric bill in his name (for which I pay him 1/3 or 1/2 depending on whether his brother is contributing or not).
Owns the television, playstation, and the majority of games and movies in our apartment.
Has (and pays for) the Netflix account we all use to watch movies and television shows as we don't have cable, satellite, or even a antenna to pick up free stations.
Has been unemployed since the beginning of march (three and a half months after we moved in and we have currently lived here for eight and a half months). Receives unemployment and foodstamps.


Me
Occasionally does dishes. Rarely forgets to at least rinse them. Often wshes/rinses dirty dishes to reuse rather than use clean ones.
Takes out the trash sometimes.
Rarely sweeps.
Sometimes cleans up in other ways.
Enjoys cooking and often makes food and shares said food.
Does not complain that eggs (frequently), spices (frequently), milk (sometimes), coffee (often), butter (frequently), peanut butter (often), and other foodstuffs (constantly) paid for and carried home myself (as I do not, after all, own/drive a car or frequently get rides from my roommate) are used/eaten by other people.
Does not complain that toothpaste and mouthwash disappear at a much more rapid rate than if I were the only one using them.
Buys toilet paper (the kind I wish we had all the time) every other time and then some that we need it.
Has the highspeed internet with which we stream Netflix movies/shows, browse the web, shoot zombies with people around the world in real time (that's all him, not me, I've never liked first-person shooters), and god only knows what else (porn, probably) in my name and pays the full amount for it because after splitting the $30 dollar charge for the first few months I decided to get $54 dollar a month internet just after roommate became unemployed and thought I would be nice and not charge him for it until he became employed again.
Bought a $210 8,000 BTU airconditioner when the weather in combination with our third-floor apartment made living unbearable and allowed the airconditioner to be installed in the living room and not my bedroom.
Covers for roommate and brother of roommate by lending gas money and other stuff between paychecks (which is sometimes not returned in full).
Has been employed for almost two solid years with the same company, makes minimum wage, and manages to keep my head above water despite working part-time.


Brother of Roommate (living with us)
Did the dishes twice just after moving in and once in the past couple days after roommate declared he didn't want to do other people's dishes any more.
Occasionally takes out the trash.
Does not sweep.
Does not clean up in other ways.
Frequently leaves dirty dishes around the apartment, does not rinse his dishes, and rather than rinsing out his glass and using the same one he used for water to hold juice and later water again uses three different ones in one day.
Reuses his towels many times and leaves the stinky things in the bathroom.
Sleeps on our couch (making it difficult to have guests) and leaves dirty clothing around living room not to mention the fact that I cannot use anything in the living room before noon (about which time I am often getting ready for work).
Has bought toilet paper once since living with us.
Never has any money (despite making around a hundred dollars a week more than I do, while my roommate gets unemployment for nearly as much money as I make not to mention foodstamps) and struggles to give roommate $200 bucks to cover some rent and electric.
Attracts emotional drama like a guy who golfs in lightening storms.


So tell me... does that add up? Because somehow it doesn't seem to come out evenly for me. That the guy who makes the most money pays the least for rent and utilities (though he does sleep on our couch, granted)? Funnily enough the months when roommate's brother was basically at our apartment constantly (and I've yet to mention that he works forty hours a week but does them consecutively and gets to sleep while there, of course so he is here a lot) except while working and to actually sleep my roommate did not complain about the dishes. Oh. And when I say "does the dishes" I mean that we have a dishwasher into which dishes are loaded, soap is added, and timer is set and that's "doing the dishes". Oh! And though our apartment has forty to sixty or more me-free hours every week I am rarely alone in it. Am I justified in feeling like I'm beating my head against the wall and wanting to kick out roomate's brother? Yes? I better be.