Seriously? I'm not poor enough?

Allow me to explain. If you've been reading for a while you may recall that I am not a rich person. In fact, I continue to astound myself by not going broke. Yet, despite living well below the poverty line for the entirety of my adult life thus far (which is only a few years, yes, but I'm sure that if someone told you you had to live on between $10,000 and $13,000 a year for a few years you'd find it a daunting prospect) I've also managed to continue to be surprised when I find out that I'm not poor enough. The first shock was when I applied for Mainecare (the local version of Medicare) a few years ago and despite making less than two hundred dollars a week (at the time) I was denied coverage not for age restrictions (being nineteen at the time I was under the twenty-one year age limit imposed on 'people like me') but because my 'head of household' (which was myself) made too much money for me to qualify for Mainecare. I don't know how poor you have to be to qualify for Mainecare as a single person under the age of twenty-one but I think it would be hard to work at all (I was working part time for minimum wage and wasn't poor enough) and manage to qualify.

I got my second shock when I did my 2010 tax return. A few factoids before the big reveal: I had never made more than ten thousand dollars in a year before 2010. I never claimed myself as a dependent before 2010. I never lived with anyone but my parents before 2010. I never tried to balance paying rent and buying food and going to work (not to mention finding work during that tough economic time) and everything else but I managed it somehow. And in 2010 I made a whopping $10,044 for the entire year. I would like to point out that this is significantly less than, say, a Senator might get for a speaking engagement at a college graduation just for comparison. On that ten thousand dollars I paid over six hundred dollars in taxes to state and federal government. On my tax return I claimed myself as a dependent and nothing else because I don't own a house or vehicle, have any other dependents, and though I had qualified medical expenses I might have deducted (two visits to a eye doctor and a year's worth of prescription contact lenses) that I paid for out-of-pocket they didn't add up to a large enough percentage of my income to count (in fact, if I had medical expenses that were a large enough percentage of my income to qualify I wouldn't have enough money to pay them so that they would qualify). I was shocked to discover that making that extra $45 that put me over $10,000 had cost me literally hundreds of dollars in tax returns.

One of my roommates at the time, filing singly, with herself as her only dependent (she had a child but he was claimed as a dependent by his other parent) and no other deduction claims than the ones I made in that year earned a little less than ten thousand dollars and got back every bit of her tax money. Up until this point in time I had as well. In fact, one year even though I was a dependent, after filing my tax return (which I have done myself every year since I started working on my sixteenth birthday) I received not only everything I had paid in taxes back to me but also a additional 'stimulus' check of three hundred dollars courtesy of former President Bush's stimulus package. I was not impressed that even though I was living well below the poverty line for a single person (to the tune of several thousand dollars below) and had only just nudged above ten thousand dollars I still paid in hundreds of dollars I did not get back.

Last year around this time of year I heard that the government was changing tax law so that rather than the involuntary savings program it is now for a lot of poor adults and minors those same people would be receiving a 'little more in every paycheck' because they would be paying 2% less (I will admit I do not know whether they meant 2% less of their gross income or 2% less than the amount they would have otherwise paid) toward Social Security. I think at the time I thought that sounded sort of reasonable (especially as I do not believe in the Social Security system as it stands and possibly not even if it was given the massive overhaul many people think it desperately needs) since having taxes act as an involuntary savings plan for the poor is not only silly but likely it is costly to those taxpayers who foot the bill for all the bureaucracy involved. However, after having done my taxes this year I am entirely unimpressed by the '2% less' plan.

When I did my 2011 taxes I got my latest shock. I made $12,660 last year (a significant increase if you do 'percentage of increase' math but if you instead make it a percentage of, say, how much money some congress-person spent remodeling the bathroom of their office at taxpayer expense it is quite a small percentage) and paid about $1,252 between state and local taxes. After getting done doing my taxes and looking at what the website calculated that my expected tax return would be I literally thought 'there must be some mistake'. I contacted the website's help service via instant messenger and asked them to give me a reason that my expected tax return was so much less than the previous year even though I only made a little more money and paid about twice as much in total taxes. I was informed that actually in 2010 I qualified for and received a tax credit called 'Making Work Pay' which was available to anyone that had earned over $3,000 in that year and that this year the program had been discontinued in favor of the '2% less' plan. I was doubly astounded by the implications of this. Because not only did this mean that I was really only getting back $25 (no, there are not meant to be any zeroes after the numeral '5' in case you were wondering) of the $1,058 I paid the federal government in taxes but that if I hadn't qualified for the 'Making Work Pay' tax credit in 2010 I would have received hundreds of dollars less in tax returns. I don't know how much less I would have received in tax returns but according to the IRS website as a single person I was eligible for up to $400 in tax credits and the total amount I got back was less than that so... I'm sure you can do the math.

The state of Maine government, unlike the federal government, was nice enough to refund me $115 of the $195 total I paid in state income tax. The state of Maine government also nicely asked me if I would like $3 of the money they were already keeping (not additionally) to go directly toward the state's clean election fund (I would because not only am I in favor of clean elections but also because that's three dollars less money that could potentially be used on a frivolous taxpayer-funded project like remodeling someone's never-to-be-seen-by-the-public bathroom). I don't really know why the state of Maine government refunded me over half my income tax money (though I assume it must be because of my total income level) but there was no gimicky tax credit or '2% less' plan that was touted to 'stimulate' the economy involved. It was sheerly 'this is how much you paid us and this is how much we feel you deserve to get back'. I am OK with that state of Maine the only thing that would make me happier is if you allowed me to tick little boxes to let you know where I want all of the money you deign to keep to go. Yes, I'd like to check the 'education' box, the 'infrastructure' box, and the 'tourism advocacy' box but count me out for the 'administrative overhead' (ie 'potential bathroom remodeling fund') and 'welfare benefits for unwed mothers who-moved-to-the-state-just-to-get-'free'-money' boxes.

Speaking of 'where my taxes are going' I decided to look at the breakdown of what I was paying in taxes between state and local income tax as well as social security and medicare. I had never looked before because I had never particularly cared but since I was already so worked up over the fact that I wasn't poor enough to get even a significant amount (roughly 2.4% of what I paid the federal government is simply not 'significant') of the money I paid in back I wanted to know who was getting that money. To the state of Maine I paid (as I mentioned previously) $195 in income tax. To the federal government I paid $342 in income tax. I want to state now that income tax is actually the thing to which I object the least (even though that money could be spent on a cushy toilet seat for some already well-padded govermental behind) because there is the possibility (however slight) that some of that money will contribute to education or improving roads or some other worthy project. I admit, again, that I would like to be able to tell the government what kinds of things they are allowed to spend my tax money on (or even just 50% of it- I would be happy knowing that 50% of my tax money is definitely going toward education and clean elections and they can spend the other 50% on 'administrative overhead' or blowing people up if they want) but overall income tax is the least objectionable portion of the taxes I paid.

If you add up my income tax amounts you'll find they come out to $537. Now, let me remind you that I paid a total of $1,252 which means I paid less than 43% of my taxes in income taxes. If you're like me you might be wondering 'what the fuck did that other 57% go toward'? I apologize for the expletive but I swear a lot inside my head especially at things which do not seem to be rational in any way. About 15% of my taxes ($183) went toward Medicare which I am not poor enough to qualify for. I'm too poor to get my own health insurance, I obviously (obvious because if I did get a benefit like that I would get paid more than minimum wage) do not work for a company which provides it, I literally could not spend a high enough percentage of my income to deduct medical expenses from my taxes, I could very well have used that $183 toward a visit to the dentist (or an eye doctor, neurologist, or chiropractor any of whom provide a service I might have liked to purchase but could not in the last year) and yet instead I subsidized someone else's visit to the dentist. But I'm young and in relatively good health so the $183 toward Medicare is not the part that makes me the most upset. The part that makes me the most upset is that I paid  42% of my total taxes toward Social Security. In fact, I only paid $5 less toward Social Security than I did in total income taxes and if we're only talking about federal taxes Social Security ate up just over half my taxes.

I already mentioned that I don't like the Social Security system. The only good thing it's ever done for this country is make people happier about being assigned a identification number but I think we can all agree that public goodwill toward the government about something as little as that isn't worth the money. I don't think the Social Security system should have been implemented to begin with. It obviously wasn't cooked up by anyone with a basic grasp of math because the lack of sustainability in such a system is glaringly obvious after a couple quick calculations. Yes, I understand that you only get it if you pay into it but people that receive it usually (with the exception of those who die in a timely manner) get more money out of it (even considering inflation) than they ever paid into it. Most people receiving social security now are likely to receive benefits for longer than they were a part of the taxpaying workforce. The only way the Social Security system could ever be sustainable is if the taxpaying population increased exponentially forever and since that obviously is not sustainable the Social Security system cannot and should not be sustained. I don't care if we abolish it now because I'm never going to receive Social Security benefits anyway. It simply isn't going to happen. I would be more than happy to sign a special government waiver stating that I will never collect Social Security and in the event that I am incapacitated to the point that they would be forced to spend it on me the government is welcome to save the taxpayers some money and pull the plug on me. But only if that meant I wouldn't have to pay into it. In fact, the prospect of having to pay into social security my whole life (or even the next two decades of it before the amount of social security/pensions/medicare/medicaid that the government pays out becomes equal to the whole amount of taxes that everyone pays in) depresses me so much that if I had proof of the afterlife I'd break out the ol' shotgun right now and kill myself in grand irony so that not only will Social Security not get my earnings but also so that some taxpayer funded criminal investigation service has to use resources looking into the 'suspicious nature' of my death.

Even though I seriously live well below the poverty line I still managed to pay rent to live somewhere (I live in an apartment mind you and not with some caring relative), I still managed to pay for all my own food (though I could have qualified for and received food stamp benefits), I still managed to pay for electricity, I still managed to pay for my cellphone service, I still managed to pay for 'premium' cable internet, I still managed to bring my bank balance up from three digits to four in the last year, I still managed to buy people Christmas and birthday presents, and I even managed to have a little fun while remaining completely debt-free and financially-independent of my parents and the government. I managed all of that with thousands of dollars less than what is considered 'poverty'. Yet despite the fact that I made thousands of dollars less than 'poverty' I also managed to pay about 10% of my income in taxes. And despite the fact that I made thousands of dollars less than 'poverty' I am seriously not poor enough to qualify for health insurance which I could not get any other way and I'm seriously not poor enough to get back a significant portion of the taxes which I pay yet I seriously subsidized someone else's healthcare and I seriously subsidized someone else's retirement and I seriously paid money that could well go to purchase a toilet seat to cushion some bureaucratic governmental behind. Apparently I am a very serious person- but not seriously poor enough.

An Update On Blue Hoodie Guy

For a explanation of who Blue Hoodie Guy is and what he does simply see my previous post. If you've already read it then move on to the next paragraph for a very special update on Blue Hoodie Guy.

The previous blog post I wrote about Blue Hoodie Guy turned out to be a public service. It helped get him arrested. Yes, that's right, writing on the internet about getting stalked home by a guy whose real name I do not know helped get him arrested. I know, I impress myself sometimes, too. (I've also been known for spraining my arm by stroking my ego- and no I don't mean that way.)

One of my coworkers read my blog at some point between when I posted it and her first shift of the week this week. Even though we talk for multiple hours every week the getting stalked home event and her first shift of the week (always a friday because she only works friday and saturday) were timed so that I hadn't talked to her at all yet this week which meant I hadn't told her either about the event or about the post yet. She read it prior to coming in to work, though, and she decided when she noticed we had security on that day (security is there on a seemingly random schedule which is, I guess, the, cough, cost-effective method of having security) that she would go and warn him about Blue Hoodie Guy. She told him what Blue Hood Guy looks like, you know, blue hoodie, bicycle helmet, bluejeans, tall and skinny. She also told him about Blue Hoodie Guy's history in and around the Mall and about how he had stalked one of her coworkers all the way to their house earlier in the week. So, being a good security guard, he promised to keep an eye out for someone matching that description just in case. Lo and behold he saw someone matching that description a short time later and this person was- surprise of surprises, I'm sure- harassing a couple of girls. Now, ordinarily, as long as the situation did not seem serious (i.e. there was no touching, violent threats, public nudity, or any actually illegal activity) he probably would have just rescued the girls and kicked Blue Hoodie Guy off the property but since this was Blue Hoodie Guy and he had a history of this sort of behavior he called the cops and had him arrested.

Blue Hoodie Guy has had the cops called on him many times, as it turns out, so much so that the cops knew him by name and also knew where he lived. Most of the time the cops are called on him Blue Hoodie Guy is not charged or even held for any length of time because he doesn't trespass, touch anyone, whip it out, or get too specific with his verbal desires so they actually can't arrest him for anything. Being creepy is not illegal in this country so they can only remove him from the situation in those instances by taking him home. And then they maybe talk to his mother whom I get the impression that he lives with but I don't know for sure. This time, however, the cops agreed to hold him in jail at least for as long as they were legally allowed (if they couldn't find anything to charge him with, that was). The Mall was also more than happy to issue a ban to him so if he comes back he will be trespassing (which is actually not much of an offense as far as I can tell unless he happens to be carrying a firearm in which case it would be a felony).

So, to add to my list of accomplishments I have the following:

Get stalked resulting in writing about it resulting in mall security knowing about stalker resulting in stalker getting arrested.

Angry Stupid People

      Stupid people as defined by: The fact that they are easily angered because of their own stupidity.
      An example of this kind of stupidity would be the folks who leave long, angry, ranting, poorly-worded and badly-typed negative feedback for online sellers who sent them- exactly what they paid for. These people are not angry because they got what they paid for. They're angry that they didn't realize what they were paying for. They often try to blame the seller for their oversight by saying that the listing didn't say that the product was generic or that it didn't come with the controller. This is rarely the case.
      Someone who sells online on a place like eBay or Amazon might make a little bit of money by deceiving someone once but they can make a lot more money in the long-term by being entirely honest. Which is not to say they might not hope you think you're getting the genuine article and therefore bid more for it but they don't expect you to. Therefore you can be fairly certain that if you read the product description it will say that what you're bidding on is generic or that it doesn't come in the original box or that it's scratched.
      These angry stupid people nearly always try to blame the seller because they know, deep inside, that if it's not the seller's fault then they were deceived because of their stupidity but as they are not stupid this cannot possibly be the case. Another feature of stupid people is that they generally have no idea that they might not be particularly bright.
      These people are the same people who might blame their bank if they lost their identity and someone used it to wrack up massive debt. Because obviously it wasn't their fault for falling for that phone scam. It must be the bank's fault for not adequately protecting their identity. It could not possibly be their own fault for giving out personal information over the phone as you are frequently warned not to do.
      Despite the fact that I work in a place that sells severely over-priced gift items I have yet to have the pleasure of dealing with a stupid angry person attempting to make a gift return. I have heard some fun stories. In fact we had one person who came in a couple of weeks ago and was (in his own words) "just looking for something cheap for my girlfriend". He bought her some jewelry that has never been very popular and was thusly marked down. He returned the next morning before the store opened and yelled at my manager because they weren't open yet and he wanted to return the gifts that his girlfriend hadn't liked. He literally threw the items on the floor in disgust and stalked off to one of the other stores until they opened. When he came back he said he wanted to return the items and Dianne said she wouldn't take them without a receipt. He yelled and said to get the girl he had purchased them from the night previously. Obviously it wasn't possible for Dianne to get Jenn on the phone or in the store to confirm his identity (not that she would have wanted to) and told him that if he found the receipt he could come back later.
      I really wanted to talk to this guy. I wanted to ask him how he could lose his receipt overnight and what the logic in buying his girlfriend something cheap was if she wouldn't like it for that very reason. Why not buy her something thoughtful instead? Or give her a gift card if he was so totally clueless about what would please her?
      I honestly hope that someone else like him comes into the store when I'm there and starts yelling so I can explain to them that our return policy is clearly posted in several places around the store and that we, like most other stores, will not accept returns of items without the receipt. We can't give refunds on credit card purchases unless you have the card with you. We absolutely will not accept Webkinz returns, not even for store credit unless you haven't opened or tampered with the tag even if you do have proof of sale. We do not accept returns of any adult magazines unless they are wrapped in plastic that hasn't been tampered with. We will not refund you for a book because you didn't like it. And if you cannot understand any of those concepts you shouldn't be trusted with money.
      Of course, this would have to occur when there was a K&E guy at the mall because otherwise I suspect this might incite the stupid angry person into harming me in physically violent ways. I guess it's a lot to ask for; having a security guard on hand at the same time as an angry stupid person is trying to return something without a proof of purchase but I can always hope.