Sunday, May 15, 2011

Progressive Dipodic Perambulatory Syndrome

Progressive Dipodic Perambulatory Syndrome


I would like to thank my friend Ivan, who once worked with me to develop an informative website about this medical problem back when we were in high school, for indirectly reminding me about this issue so I could write about it for you all. We didn't actually talk about PDPS but having him up to visit reminded me about this and made me wish I still had access to the website we made. Unfortunately if the website exists at all it's only on a server at our highschool and nowhere I could actually access it. I'm going to try to recreate my research on this seemingly obscure but widely prevalent issue.


In case you didn't know Progressive Dipodic Perambulatory Syndrome is a serious epidemic. 97% of Americans over the age of two years suffer from this problem (most likely yourself included). However this is not just a problem in the United States and other first-world countries but may be just as much if not more of a problem in underdeveloped nations and across the globe. 2-3% of adults in America are even seriously affected by this syndrome even in their sleep when typically the harsh symptoms of PDPS are arrested during slumber.

Most people are not only totally ignorant of PDPS but those that are aware of its dangers dismiss the problem as being an acceptable risk. An acceptable risk that claims the lives of 13,000 people each year in the United States alone. Unfortunately reliable data concerning the number of deaths PDPS causes globally is unavailable but considering that not only is the population of the United States just under 5% of the global population but also the medical care in the United States is considerably better than most of the world it's not hard to think just how large the numbers of lives claimed globally by PDPS really are.

Some people who shouldn't be ignorant of the dangers of PDPS are the members of the CDC and yet the CDC recommends that anyone over the age of six do activity that will exacerbate the symptoms of PDPS. That means that if you are a resident of the United States the health agency the government designed to protect you is actually encouraging you to make yourself sick. This is advice that could lead to your death but is widely available on the CDC website under the guise of helpful medical advice.

If thirteen thousand deaths in the United States every year does not concern you let me tell you about some of the other non-fatal injuries that can occur as a result of PDPS. PDPS can result in a huge variety of injuries including but not limited to breakages of every major bone in the human body. PDPS can incur slipped discs, internal bleeding, brain injuries, and among serious PDPS cases can even end in heart attack. PDPS is a serious ailment about which you're unlikely to have ever heard anything.

I would like to encourage you to spread the word about PDPS to your friends and relatives. This is a ailment that can be fixed but only if people are aware of it. Without knowing its dangers people cannot be expected to prevent injuries caused by PDPS.

2 comments:

  1. Okay, now that I'm done fearmongering I thought I should let you know the other truth about PDPS. I made up the disease. I used my knowledge of latin to make something up that sounded scientific. Progressive is for moving forward as opposed to the way it's used to term the severity of a disease like multiple sclerosis. Dipodic is in reference to a bipedal creature like a human it literally means two feet. Perambulate means to walk through. And Syndrome of course is obvious. All of the statistics I cited are actual statistics regarding the serious dangers... of walking. PDPS is walking.

    If you're interested in more ridiculousness I would recommend you go and read two websites that inspired my creation of this disease.

    DHMO DHMO details the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide (also known as H2O).

    The Dangers of Bread All about the dangers of bread.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is hilarious. xD I was actually getting scared, but I hadn't heard of it before and I didn't know what the meaning of the disease was (English is not my mother language). So I was getting really worried, until I read your comment with the meaning.

    ReplyDelete