Battery of Humor

I recently rebooted my laptop after it demanded I install software updates and discovered that there was a funny icon partially covering the battery charge indicator. When I hovered over it there was a message reading: "Consider replacing your battery." When I opened the battery management there was a statement: "There is a problem with your battery, so your computer might shut down suddenly." I felt a bit of chagrin at the fact that I've only had the laptop for about a year and a half now and the battery is already crapping out. So I decided to see how absurdly-priced a replacement would be. If I purchased a replacement battery from Toshiba they would charge me $129.99 plus shipping. Considering that when I purchased my laptop I paid $500.00 including shipping at my friend's wholesaler price (on a laptop you'd find in a retail store for probably $800.00 or more and on the Toshiba website for $569.99 plus shipping) I can't say as I'm particularly inclined to buy a new battery for 26% of what I paid for the whole computer. So I punched the model number of the battery into Google and lo and behold it turns out there are many compatible batteries available for significantly less than $129.99. After considering the price and ratings of a few batteries I chose one that would cost me $38.86 including shipping had excellent reviews from all the buyers.

None of that was the humorous part, though. The humorous part was what else the battery had printed on the side that's hidden against the computer along with the battery code. "Do not disassemble nor alter Battery Pack. Do not put into fire nor make it shorted. Do not charge with the method other than that specified. It will cause fire, explosion or overheat if not conformed." I'm not actually completely sure what they are warning me not to do or why they would think that printing it in a place where I would not normally ever see it is going to be helpful in any way. I just better hope and pray that I'm 'conformed', I guess.